The title says it all. After 4 weeks of pain, frustration, guilt, and putting 100% effort and heart in to breastfeeding, I've came to a crossroad and it looks as though I am forced to take the formula route. I really wanted to breastfeed, but on top of the fact that I don't think I'm producing enough milk, I have a bruised breast, and lots of pain to go with it! I've pumped the sore breast 3 times in the past 2 days for around 10 minutes or so @ a time and I've only gotten 4oz. On the left breast I'm lucky to pump a 1/2oz @ a time. Because of this Gavin was nursing around every hour and a half...I was literally getting one hour between each feeding & I'm pretty sure this is part of where the pain comes from. My little baby was spending a lot of time crying & I think it was due to being hungry constantly. So, I'm giving formula a go. It seems to be going a little better & my hands are baby free for longer periods. Please pray for us...that the "drying up" period isn't painful for me, but most importantly that Gavin adjusts well.
I have a hair appointment today, it will be the first time that I've went anywhere alone & that Nelson has watched the baby by himself. It will seem odd to get out, but part of me looks forward to spending some time on ME!!! Does that sound selfish or what??? It's just that the last 4 weeks...I have really neglected myself & I don't think thats good for my self-esteem, my mood, or for my husband, lol...I still want to look nice for him, I mean after all, I would still consider us newlyweds. Our 1 year anniversary is April 12th, just a little over a week away, & on Easter! We are going to the Gaylord Palms resort for the weekend, it's wonderful to have something to look forward to. I would definitely classify myself as someone who NEEDS things to look forward to...it really helps my emotional state, hehe! But the last 2 1/2 years will be hard to top...moving to Miami, moving to Orlando, getting engaged, getting married, & having a baby; makes a stay at Gaylord seem very minimal, doesn't it! But I'm still very excited just the same!
This weekend we are headed to Naples for my nephews birthday. Nicolas will be 5...where does time go??? Let's hope the 3 hour drive is a pleasant one & that the weekend is too!
Guess it's time to take my daily walk before it gets too warm out...still have a lot of work to do on this postpartum body & w/o breastfeeding, it's going to be an even bigger challenge! Wish me luck!!! I'm in a wedding this summer & I MUST get myself together!